The honesty inherent in small children makes them worthy adversaries particularly during the most serious of conversations. I hope you enjoy the following excerpts as much as I did.
About Whales
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible
for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal
its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was
swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale
could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I
will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to
hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
About God
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her
classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk
around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working
diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows
what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her
drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'
About The Ten Commandments
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the
Ten Commandments with her five and six year-olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honour'
thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us
how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat one little boy (the
oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
About Ageing
One day a little girl was sitting and
watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed
that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on
her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively
asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you
do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation
for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'
About Photographs
The children had all been photographed, and
the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group
picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it
when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or
'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang
out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'
About Circulation
A teacher was giving a lesson on the
circulation of the blood Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now,
class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I
would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing
upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted,
'Cause your feet ain't empty.'
About Omnipresence
The children were lined up in the cafeteria
of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a
large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the
other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you
want. God is watching the apples.'
About Whales
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible
for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal
its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was
swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale
could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I
will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to
hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
About God
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her
classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk
around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working
diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows
what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her
drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'
About The Ten Commandments
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the
Ten Commandments with her five and six year-olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honour'
thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us
how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat one little boy (the
oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
About Ageing
One day a little girl was sitting and
watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed
that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on
her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively
asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you
do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation
for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'
About Photographs
The children had all been photographed, and
the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group
picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it
when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or
'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang
out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'
About Circulation
A teacher was giving a lesson on the
circulation of the blood Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now,
class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I
would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing
upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted,
'Cause your feet ain't empty.'
About Omnipresence
The children were lined up in the cafeteria
of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a
large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the
other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you
want. God is watching the apples.'
No comments:
Post a Comment